a little broken

help

i'm trying so hard

striving 

to be good at this

all i want is to feel the way everyone else seems to

or fakes

like i do

either way, i want it

the real version

i don't want to be insecure, anymore

i don't want to always second guess myself

i want to be confident

and comfortable

in myself

in me

who i am

not in who i could be

or who i wish i was

just me

but its so much easier said than done

there's always the voice in my head

the one telling me i'm not good enough

i'm not pretty enough, i'm not smart enough

i'm not worth the fight

i constantly find myself wishing the white voice within me spoke louder

the angelic voice that says i'm perfect

i'm worth it

i'm capable

i'm beautiful, smart and plenty good for anything

i'm me and thats a blessing

i know its all true

i always have

but its easy to forget when you're me, i guess

i wish doubt left me

i could abandon fear

i wish i was confident as i pretend to be

because deep down i'm scared and i'm easily shaken and shattered

i guess this is me asking for help

your help

with you, this is the closest i've come to really being happy

well, i've always been happy

but happy in that i'm comfortable in my own pale, imperfect skin

somehow you speak to my mind and fill me with compliments

in your eyes i'm good enough

i'm the girl i'm longing to see
the girl in the mirror i can never focus on

you're helping me find that its reality

i admire that in you

among everything else

i wish i was brave enough

putting my pride aside

to ask you to help me

to open up to you completely and tell you i need help

i need help

i'm struggling and i'm a little broken

i want your touch, your hug and your smile

your perfect, flawless words

your strength in me that takes me bright places

your heart

i know who i am and i love her

but sometimes i lose sight of why

i need help getting back on my feet and keeping my chin up

i need help

your help