i'm an angel, i'm a devil i am sometimes in between. i'm as bad as it can get and good as it can be. sometimes i'm a million colors, sometimes i'm black and white. i am all extremes. try and figure me out you never can, there's so many things i am. i am special, i am beautiful, i am wonderful and powerful, unstoppable. sometimes i'm miserable, sometimes i'm pitiful, but thats so typical of all the things i am.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

all these grins

i've needed to spill for some time, now. countless times i've sat myself down under my warm blanket with my laptop on my lap and that little cursor blinking at me -- waiting for the gush of words i collect in the shoebox in my heart. but so many times, as i sit there and stare at the boring screen, i lose the train of thought i may have had. nothing comes out. so i shut it down and pretend to sleep until i finally do. its a cycle that today should be broken. ..if i really do post this. backspace is usually easy to hold down, you know.

the more i've dwelt on my life and what i release, i have found that perhaps i'm better at writing and remembering the cruel things. the down days and the sour moments. i don't document the good things nearly enough. thats why writing has been so difficult. i don't know how to accurately describe all these amounts of happiness i possess. but man, if i were sad, i could write a thousand novels.

there just aren't words that can explain how i feel and i can't paint pretty enough imagery.

but you should know, with every fiber of my being - i am happy.

sunday, love.

cream lace and lemon in the air
its sunday morning
trinkets are round about
his tie on straight
music in the silence 
procrastinated lessons being planned
his charming dances
spreading faded pink smiles
across my done-up face
these are the best days
mornings of messy hair
and drowsy eyelids
and afternoons of compliments
hugs and stories
preparing with positivity
and funny faces 
for the week ahead of us
we are quite skilled
we've got this "us" thing down
and its only been five and a half months
and we just keep melting, together