admiration, adoration and obsession

i could, forever

if i could remain by your side

sitting in silence

or engulfed in chaotic noise

i'd be happy

as long as you're the hand next to me

to hold onto

i'd rather argue forever with you

than go a single second

without knowing your sweet soul

i know now

not only do i want you

but

you've become a need to my survival

i love you

i guess it is as simple as that

sometimes 'love' seems to be the only word

i can use

since words usually fail me, though

i guess i'll spend the rest of my life

proving my admiration, adoration and obsession

through action

i could, forever

and ever

let me?

Still Here

Another night of built up hopes brought to life, effortlessly - and I'm still feeling all of you here with me, around me, on me, safely, as I allow night time to swallow me into a dreamland. I hope I find you there, because to be honest, I miss you the moment you begin walking away. It is too entirely sweet. Perfect as the sun setting over the mountains. My fingers twitch around as if they are lost without being in between yours. Thank heavens for tomorrows. I so hope you're sleeping well.

Home is Where the Heart Is

Its where I fit so perfectly. When everything is good or when everything is wrong, its simple; its where I belong. Would it be alright with you if it is where I call home? Its where I'm most comfortable, the place I'm anxious to fall into, the hold I need throughout every second of my day. I love it. I love you, the way you hold me there, comfortably, sweetly and strongly. I'm safe there in your arms. I'm happiest there. Words don't accurately describe the way my heart sings and flutters when you've got me there, darling. I hope you know this. Its you. Just like I imagined from the beginning. I know I'm stubborn and hard to get through to on occasion, I'm all too typical of a girl, sometimes, but you somehow always know what to say to get me to break and release whats held in. Then, again, I can find myself back in my favorite, safest place. The home where my heart is free to feel and to dream and to really be itself. Its where I fit so perfectly when all I need is to fit.

Things I'll Never Say

"I'm tugging at my hair

I'm pulling at my clothes

I'm trying to keep my cool

I know it shows

I'm staring at my feet

My cheeks are turning red

I'm searching for the words inside my head

I'm feeling nervous

Trying to be so perfect

Cause I know you're worth it

You're worth it

If I could say what I want to say

I'd say I wanna blow you away

Be with you every night

Am I squeezing you too tight

If I could say what I want to see

I want to see you go down

On one knee

Marry me today

Guess I'm wishing my life away

With these things I'll never say

Whats wrong with my tongue

These words keep slipping away

I stutter, I stumble

Like I've got nothing to say

If I could say what I want to say 

I'd say I wanna blow you away

Be with you every night

Am I squeezing you too tight

If I could say what I want to see

I want to see you go down

On one knee

Marry me today

Guess I'm wishing my life away

With these things I'll never say"
-Avril Lavigne

..but maybe, someday..

Missing You

Oh my gosh, I miss you.

I really thought these few days without you wouldn't be so empty, but they are.

I'm naked without you, my other half is gone

The handsome man who is always by my side..isn't, tonight.

All I can let myself dwell on, to save myself from loneliness

Is the monumental amounts of fun you must be having with your brothers in one of your favorite locations.

Also, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder

And missing someone is your hearts way of reminding you that you love someone

I love you so much.

But, wow..I miss you, tonight.

Its an awkward feeling spending a Saturday night alone.

Its bizarre not having your arms wrapped round me while I lay on your chest

Talking, laughing and falling asleep..

I can't wait to see you, tomorrow.

Come home, safely, okay?

I love you, darling.

Best, Best Friend

I'm in the mood to spill. My heart is beating, bursting out of my chest as I lay here in the dark, encircled by the glow of the computer screen. I suppose I have a lot on my mind, tonight. Don't fret, though. Its only goodness and anticipation. There isn't an ugly thought in sight, for once. I'm finding myself, here in a lovely light - basking in the glow of what I've built with my best, best friend. I think of him and my heart gets warm and I blush to myself. Its glorious. I love him and I'm seeing the very best images when I picture what this future could be like. Think it could really happen? I do. Theres a reason we're together, me and him. So why wouldn't the days ahead of us be flower fields and sunny days? Mm, how lucky I am.
There. I spilled. Goodnight, lovelies.

No More Circles

I wish I could perfectly remember each sentence you say. Especially your words and phrases from tonight. Because, tonight was perfect. Untraditional, for sure. But perfect. Everything I needed to hear fell into my heart and I am calm, finally at ease. I know what I need to work on - you reminded me, again, and its still my work, hopefully in progress. Change doesn't happen over night, of course. But together, we're something unbeatable, never duplicated, one of a kind. No more circles, our path is headed straight into a forward, long-lasting fashion. Its where we both know in the back of our minds we belong, anyway. If we didn't, we wouldn't have come so far and held on so long, never giving up on one another. I still swear that, by the way. I will never, ever give up on you, you beautiful person. 

Tonight, I lay in bed with a smile on my face and a larger grin across my heart. Everything is falling into place. Our future is securing itself more and more with each passing goodnight kiss and I'm falling more and more in love with this, each time I look into your silky blue eyes. I'm happy here. I'm easily free. I'm with you, forever, I hope. Where I swear I am meant to be.