colors

i'm on a journey. finding beauty in imperfections.
sometimes my heart calls this finding inner peace and happiness.
i have that, a drought in my life.
every day is a new canvas for me to paint
how the final piece is displayed is up to me
and my attitude.
bright yellows and oranges don't always signify joy
i've found it can be a careful cover of deeper feelings.
blues, purples, deep greens, i think those are me.
but not always
because i'm ever-changing.
its all part of the process or so i'm told.
i'll let you in on a secret i don't often tell..
i think i actually enjoy it.
more than any of that, i'm enjoying the solidity i've found.
in him, of course.
mm, him.
finally, the colors on my canvas portray real joy
no matter what color i may paint, its joyful with a smile painted behind.
if only in pieces, it is there.
joy. trust. humility. strength. comfort. peace. happiness. love.
the things i'd convinced my own brain i'd never receive
because nothing was in my favor and maybe i wasn't good enough.
but he changed everything.
and i am good enough - i always have been.
tomorrow, undoubtably, i will re-pain my canvas to fit myself
but his pieces remain true and constant.
the rest of me is the daily battle ground and attitude conquers all
good or bad, the strongest is the winner.
and that, darlings, is all part of the journey.
there really is beauty, radiant, chaotic beauty in this journey.
hazel eyes just have to open to it.