i'm an angel, i'm a devil i am sometimes in between. i'm as bad as it can get and good as it can be. sometimes i'm a million colors, sometimes i'm black and white. i am all extremes. try and figure me out you never can, there's so many things i am. i am special, i am beautiful, i am wonderful and powerful, unstoppable. sometimes i'm miserable, sometimes i'm pitiful, but thats so typical of all the things i am.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Hearts.

Once there was a heart.
I held it tightly in my arms, I protected that piece of him with my life and I gave up pieces of myself, risking my sanity and my name to keep it proud, powerful and strong. Just like he would have wanted.
I placed my fragile, eager heart in his hands in return. He promised me it was his to keep forever and it could not be in safer, more reliable hands.
Thats when I learned words are nothing without actions to back them up.
I just became an accessory to his already charmed life. Just a hand to hold to boost his ego and help his image. When he said 'I love you' his eyes said otherwise. When he kissed me, his mind was elsewhere. His touch was cold and cruel. His alternative motives consumed him and I got lost in the mess he made.
I gave that heart far too many chances.
I convinced myself the rumors I'd heard were lies.
I swore his mistakes were making him better.
I've never been more wrong.
Finally, a blessing in disguise, he dropped my heart. Carelessly. He didn't care anymore. He hadn't for a long time.
Stupid little me, I always knew he didn't mean what he said. I'm just a wishful thinker.
Fast forward a few months...
There is a new heart.
And this one? Oh, its better.
Life is so much better.

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