Look Up

I look up to you and I don't think you understand just how much. The disappointment you have in me, the frustrations you hold in your eyes when you look at me kill me. Its a feeling I can't even describe. I wish you'd understand. I care. Probably too much. But that is me, its who I am and I've tried and failed too many times to change it to keep pursuing that goal. Just embrace it, please. I really wish you would. I know you try to help, I see that and I understand it, but when I feel too much emotion I get overwhelmed and act out. We both can work on how we handle these moments. I'm trying to become myself, become independent but still stay true to my little-girl roots. I've said it before, its difficult to explain. I wish you could experiment with my heart in your palms, then you'd know. But since that wish is impossible, just try and understand. I will do the same. More than anything, I wish you knew just how much I look up to you. How much I try..