Its cold outside and the snowflakes sleeping on the ground remind me of last Christmas. I didn't feel well but I was comfortable in that situation, in that body. Things were hazy but life was easy then. Little did I know my life would change completely in that next month. Everything I had my bets placed on fell to pieces. Hearts I trusted dropped my sanity. Friends I called the best broke their promises. People I thought I knew showed they had multiple faces. I lost everything I swore I needed. I messed up. I faltered. I was nothing because everyone else made me feel as if that were the truth. As the months kept passing, injuries would heal but swiftly were replaced by new heart attacks. It wasn't easy. July brought promise but that turned into dust. September was the breaking point.
Then November came around.
It was expected to be miserable like everything else. I'd learned not to place high hopes in coming days and this was no different.
Its funny and magical how your eyes can meet a pair of pretty eyes and next thing you know, your whole world is changed for the better. In the instances you find yourself in with a soul yours matches with, perfectly, your messy past makes sense because it brought you to this moment in time. Somehow your flaws and your insecurities shrivel up and don't matter because others judgments don't exist when you're with those pretty eyes. All that matters is the two of you.
Life never got easier. I just got stronger and found a lovely hand to hold that makes promises it keeps. The light at the end of the tunnel I could never find is mine, now, and things can only go up from here. Rock bottom is the best place to build a firm foundation. Here I am, ready to do this. Ready to go.
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