endless daydreams, again. i'm not surprised.

finally. my fingers have been aching for their natural, happy habitat. nothing in particular to riddle about, really. words just bring a smile to my pale face. even now, when i can barely keep my eyes open, all i want to do is spill phrases from the tips of my fingers and feel that glorious feeling when the world lifts itself from my shoulders. not much beats that notion. i've caught myself in dramatic daydreams, lately. again. i think thats all i do, sometimes. they're dreams of forever and happily ever after. dreams of an eternal love and endless 'i love you's.' dreams of the dreams i've dreamt of since i could process a tangible thought. so, dear, what do you say? is it time to push them from dreams to reality, yet?

i love you

I like your smile

I like your vibe

I like your style

But that's not why I love you

And I, I like the way you're such a star

But that's not why I love you

Hey, do you feel, do you feel me?

Do you feel what I feel too?

Do you need, do you need me?

Do you need me?

You're so beautiful

But that's not why I love you

I'm not sure you know

That the reason I love you is you 

Being you, just you

The reason I love you

Is all that we've been through

And that's why I love you

And how you keep your cool

When I am complicated

But that's not why I love you

Hey, do you feel, do you feel me?

Do you feel what I feel too?

Do you need, do you need me?

Do you need me?

You're so beautiful

But that's not why I love you

And I'm not sure you know

That the reason I love you is you 

Being you, just you

The reason I love you

Is all that we've been through

And thats why I love you

And thats why I love you

when someone asks me what body part i like most on a guy (you) i reply eyes and smiles.

its that sweet, gentle, genuine smile. it gets me every time. you're beautiful. its the easiest thing to picture in my mind - all the time. when i'm happy, when i'm sad, when everything is perfect, when nothing is right. you are the image that keeps me sane and keeps me on the right track. i owe you more than i could ever give you but that doesn't mean i won't try to give you my all. i love you when you are you in the most raw way. your touch, those magical kisses, the way you wrap your strong arms around my body giving me the sensation of being in my own "home" we've built, here. i'm safe inside of you. your blue eyes do something powerful to the inside of me i could never explain. its just...a fairy tale. i am so captivated by your image and the charisma you poses inside and out. when you kiss my lips and i open my eyes and my gaze falls upon that smile, those eyes. i melt. you really do melt me. i'm in love with each moment and i've learned to embrace each moment of it. or i'm still learning to never let it go. i swear i'll never let you go. i'm in too deep, its too perfect. i love this, us, too much. and when i'm not with you, where i find myself now, i'll close my eyes and let my imagination fall upon your sweet, sweet smile on your beautiful face.

again

this is getting tiring. its the same thing i say to myself, daily, because i don't have the guts to say it to your face. please. please, let me have what is mine. let me have the honors of releasing news, first, that was my story to tell in the first place. you shouldn't ever have been the one i feel like i'm racing against, yet here we are. i'll be blunt. i hate it. 

trials attack

its hard, sometimes. when everything else is so perfect, my one kryptonite and evil temptation attacks. even when i am sure i'm strong enough to be strong enough. i falter more than i'd ever admit to someone besides my father in heaven. its an ache i can't medicate. a sorrow i've yet to learn to rid myself of. i want to be perfect just like everything else. why are hard things so easy to come by most of the time? the devil and his stupid grasp is stronger than me from time to time. but i know i cannot succumb to his power. its the stress that gets me. lately the bug inside of me is an overwhelming one. but its nothing i can't handle. after all, i'll never be given a trial i can't overcome, shove under the dirt and stand master over. watch me do it, because i will.

Inn

slices of the flawless heaven

tasteful pieces of everything

perfect handfuls of perfection

those days were even better than i could have ever anticipated

side-by-side for days

next to the wonderful person i have

adventures i've never ventured to

until now

until then

picture perfect memories made

bringing me closer to everything i've ever wanted

needed, even

i never knew life could get this good

he took me on this journey and exceeded all my expectations

its beautiful and special

keeping me in the happiest place

rocks, dirt and muddy shoes

slices of heaven

tasteful pieces of everything

perfect handfuls of perfection

the difference between fingers and lips

it was just a matter of time. a ticking time-bomb i was truly surprised hadn't burst yet. i don't know how it hasn't exploded, shaking the earth, yet. i'm a lot more patient than i ever thought i was, it seems. there should be more good shocks like that. but the truth has to be spoken, eventually. if only my lips were as brave as my fingers. i could write it all day but when you stand in front of me my tongue disallows my lips the pleasure of assisting my heart as it speaks to yours. i wish my eyes could relay the message to you, but i don't see it working, yet, hard as i've tried. and i have tried, i swear. those three words, separately are as easy as the alphabet to recite. they're simple and flow right from my smile. but when you tie them together and you know the promise and the meaning behind them when they're side-by-side, it changes the degree of difficulty like you couldn't imagine. but i have to get it out, somehow.. someday. because i have never felt it this way, before. in fact, before this, i've never felt it. not the real kind of emotion. this is real and this is lasting. i'm consumed by its rapture and laced, beaming joy it brings to my life. i'm overjoyed by you and what you've done to me. i hope you've seen the change, too. heres some news, i plan to sing for you. just to prove how much i mean what i hope i someday say. courage has to build, still. i'm shy, you know. quiet by nature. but its truer than true. i do.

.....
i love you.
so. much.
always & forever