Its Really Something

Dancing around my front porch

Saying 'goodbye' one hundred different times

Swearing you're leaving this time

But you change your mind and make me smile

Your big hands hold my small ones

And you run your fingers across my face

Kiss my forehead and leave me breathless

You sneak tickles into embraces 

And laugh while I take it

Your hugs send me spinning

I'm captivated by each moment I'm lost in with you

There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be

Dancing here in your arms is what flawless must feel like

Getting the privilege to stare at you and grin at your sweetness

Its really something

Better

your pride swore i'd never find anything better and the day i let go after your grasp loosened would be one i'd always regret. turns out i was right, i know myself much better than you ever pretended to know me. that day, sitting on your bed while you preached to the choir, hours and hours about how blessed i was to be graced by your egotistic, narcissistic, self-centered self meant nothing to me. i was only caught in a moment and realize now you just like to wear girls like jewelry. once they barely tarnish, you're through - you dump them at the scene and leave them to pick up the pieces. you aren't worth the trouble to me. the only thing i do regret is you. the pieces can stay there, i'm not looking back. i proved you wrong, little boy. i did find something better. someone better. new hands gave me new pieces and a promise to hold them together, carefully, not like your slimy, guilty fingers never could. i don't miss you. i don't regret a single thing i said that day. when everything fell apart and i was sure you'd leave a pit in my heart that wouldn't easily fix, i found you're the simplest thing to forget. you're the easiest fake addiction to rid myself of. its a breeze getting over you, because i was never on you to begin with. i told you so.

wishful lack-of-sleep

i swear a night will sneak upon me, one day
when my head hits the pillow before midnight i'll fall asleep. fast.
there won't be long, l o n g hours passing while i drive myself crazy.
my mind won't be over actively mulling over every aspect of life.
i'll just...sleep. dream. and sleep some more.
since i'm still owl eyes, i'll count my blessings instead of sheep.
number one on the list tonight..
at least the reason i can't sleep tonight is because of butterflies. 

Last Night Sparkled

It just keeps getting better. Life keeps gaining all this meaning. I learn more and more each time I bask in your glowing presence. Your smile melts me. Last night sparkled. Embedded in my mind is your pretty face, that smile and your hands grasping mine, safely. Those moments you took my breath away and I try to play it off like a cool-girl. I wonder if you saw the dance my heart was doing in those enchanted pieces of day. As you tickle my neck and I sink lower, my heart lifts higher. Its a high you read about in fairy-tales and somehow I've found it on my own front porch. Some hearts just get lucky, sometimes, I guess. Those stories do exist, they happen. Last night sparkled and the shine hasn't warn off my heart, not even close. We tell secrets, so here's mine, I hope it never does.

Firefly Thoughts

With everything on my mind, I can't help from drifting back to one thought.
Fireflies.
Locked inside a small closet, laying on my back with a jar of fireflies placed beside me.
I'm bound to become a new kind of dreamer in there.
Just me and those small lights. Beautiful lights.
When my eyes start to shut I'd unscrew the lid and watch the little insects take flight.
Soaring around the small space, their light beaming, putting a simple smile on my pale face.
The epitome of awe.
Its some sort of magic.
If I became so lucky to share this thought-turned-reality with someone...
I'd take their hand and sigh.
I'm sure its that kind of beauty.
We'd giggle, softly about how silly it'd originally seem
But our hearts would be full because of the serenity the moment offers.
Here I go, again.
Losing myself in firefly thoughts. 

Under the Stars

As I lie under the stars I’m coming to realize just how small I am. Small, but worth something…because here I am, under the stars with a chance, a blessed opportunity, to live life to its fullest and make my mark and leave a legacy. Even if only the stars notice my impact. I am someone. I’ve burned my bridges and broken bonds with tremendous people, but I’ve mended my ways. I’ve fixed myself and seen the bright lights. Perhaps the people I long for the most will never see the change, but I saw it, I see it. The Lord sees it. My family sees it. Undoubtedly, the difficult days aren’t over with and I’ve still got a line of never ending trials in my future days but I’ve learned so much about myself. Things are looking up, things, life is becoming magical, again. Certain someones can have that impact on a young girls heart, still, you know. I have strength. I know I can rise up against pain, conquer the sorrow and find happiness, peace and grow more in this eternal journey. These stars will forever give me hope. Its like after all this time of doubt and uncertainty I’ve found the respect and confidence in who I am inside and outside. I’m beautiful, strong, worth it and special – someone worth loving and taking care of. ChelseaKate. I’ll lie under the stars a while longer with these tears trickling down my cheek. Tears of happiness, finally. Tears of acceptance, relief and joy. I’ll thank the sky for always being there as it twinkles at me. I’ll shine here in the moonlight and feel my heart beat out of my chest. Its my time, now because I’m someone amazing. I’ll leave my mark. My legacy will be one of triumph and courage. Even if only the stars notice. I’ll lay here, thankful. Finally the girl I’ve always wanted to be, the girl I love. Me. Just me. The special girl under the stars.