A Catch

Give me half a chance. 

One chance

And I promise I'll blow your mind.  

I'm a heck of a catch

A perfect fit to the vacant puzzle

I'm the one you want

And I'll prove it

If you give me a chance. 

Still

I'm so captivated by you, still. Your exquisite personality and one-of-a-kind charm. To think that the best gift to happen to a girl happened to me that day we knelt in white. I'll never stop working to please you. To be every form and function of who you deserve to have hold your hand and squeeze your body for eternity. We are best friends - which is a cliche phrase you say when you're married, but I want to live that and make it so real that the whole world knows it and can feel it when they look at us. As our journey takes us into a world of change and age, I pray we never lose our newlywed spark and this tight-knit friendship and fierce dedication towards each other. I promise I'll do my part to only make it better. Because tonight as I lay beside your sleeping body, your chest rising and falling as you rest in dreamland, I am filled to the brim with a raw, completely real gratitude of who you are and what you do. I'm so captivated, still. 

you know me
the one who won't move
who won't give up holy ground
always beside you, love

Knot

So much is too dark

It was the longest day ever, yesterday

And all I've done is search manically for the light. 

I was happy that blue eyes never fell on my eyes with black bags underneath as I swallowed tears that so many times felt determined to escape my lashes. 

I wouldn't allow it - I just couldn't. 

Not today. 

The pit in my stomach raged like fire 

But as the day passed it became smaller. 

A knot. 

But it tied me up as tightly as it could have in its boney, self-centered fingers. I fell to its grey music too many times. 

All I needed was the usual hero. But that was standing underneath its own rain cloud. Consumed in its own self. 

The amount of loneliness was new and all too terrible. 

So now you see...maybe 

Just how important the light really was. Is. 

And in the end, I found the fragment of it. 

Sunshine

Don't give up, Sunshine. The world has not used you up quite yet. 

If you don't see it, lean on my belief in you until yours is as strong as the muscles that carry your worried body. 

Never apologize to me for your complaints. Don't let those words escape your pretty mouth. 

I'm your wife, it isn't just my job but my privilege. My honor and my joy. I like helping people, too. 

There is something divine in store for you. I promise, Sunshine. Your journey is only in its toddler stages. Just you wait, from dust, comes diamonds. 

Everything is happening to you, to us, in the exact time it was meant to. The exact time He planned for us. 

Each time your dam breaks, He sees you, He feels your pain and He reaches His hand down to hold yours and pat your back. "Don't give up." 

He hasn't given up on you. Never. 

I haven't given up on you, I certainly never will. 

I married you because I love you. Because I saw this amazing, courageous strength in you. Because you made me love myself. Because I knew you'd find a way to provide for me and support me in my endeavors. Because you were my rock from the beginning. Because I needed you - I still do. Because I just knew. 

You've a long line of supporters, ready to cheer you on to the finish line. When you've figured out your dream and you've worked your hardest to get there. We'll all be there. Cheering! And it will happen. 

Don't give up, Sunshine. One day at a time. One step at a time. You'll get there. ...and don't you think I'll let you do it alone.  

eager

my heart is swollen with an eager excitement and anxiety
nothing like i've ever experienced before
you're constantly taking up every centimeter in my brain
opportunities have finally bowed before your diamond eyes
and you look braver
more confident
than i've ever witnessed your soul
i'm proud of you
i'm completely smitten by this side of you
the side that takes chances
the man who leaves it on the floor
willing to accept any path
any answer
any opportunity
i melt into delight thinking you're mine
all this wondfulfullness
mine
the grandest example and the bravest of heroes
my heart is wrapped around you
my brain is captivated in every inch of your being
i'm all yours
for the high times and the low times
always wishing you the highest of highs
the best of the best
everything your genuine soul deserves
i'm rooting for you, love
always on your side

Word Vomit

This blinking cursor has been haunting me, lately. Begging me as I try to sleep, to fill the white space with my souls brainstorm and its every fiber. I neglect these things, too often, I suppose. "Your words will be an instrument to many..." You've no idea how often I hear the old, aged voice repeat that in my head - again, begging my fingers to spill inner musings. I love it, but I feel like I'm too old for it. Doesn't there come an age where you're too mature? Too...'old' to spill in ways like this? ..I'm trying to conform, again, aren't I? Trying to please others instead of caring about what my heart thinks. Old me, old habits. But I'm writing. I'm conjuring up sentences in my mind to fill empty canvas with. I attempt to draw beautiful paintings in your skull, they just seldom make it past my whirlwind-mind. Come around if you care to check on my brooding. I'm sure I'll allow myself a dump of words from time to time.

home

delicate fingertips topple over my back
goosebumps raise over my skin
i'm home
the familiar echo of adoration
floods through my veins
i'm home