if i pretend like it doesn't hurt, then maybe it won't
maybe it will stop
i'll be comfortably numb
with feelings and the nagging want
but i won't hurt
i won't cry
i won't fall apart
maybe if i smile through it enough i'll smile for real
i'll be okay
perhaps some saving grace
will scoop my heart up
and calm it down so i no longer ache
maybe
but i'll never stop wanting it
i'll never quit praying
which unfortunately
means it won't stop hurting
if only the hurt
eventually paid off
fingers crossed
still
forever and always
