my painting

simply: it isn't always easy. very seldom simple.
its a view. an image you have spent twenty-two years painting. so imagine the frustration of the difficult tasks when told your painting is all wrong. you're a dreadful artist - gloomy and dark. fix it. "fix it." people say it like it isn't the hardest thing in the world. they say it in a way to cause me to believe they have no problems of their own. who are they, anyway? why is my business so fascinating to them and why do they feel the need to bombard me with their cruel opinions and selfish advise? ..i'm putting them deep down in mud. the fact is, i get it, you know? the gloom and gray shades, i get it. i do it, sometimes. but not always. mostly, i'm sunshine and pale blue skies. fluffy white clouds and cheerful robins. but give me a break, this is reality, here. the storm clouds are going to stuff them selves into my small apartment and crowd me with their ever-giving negativity. just give me a moment. hold me while i cry. i'll get it under control - just building the familiar muscle to fight. and one of these days i'm going to win.