History

I'm tangled up in you. Held on your pedestal I placed you on, you've always got me looking up.
A real miracle worker.
All the lace and sparkles in the universe can't compare. Its simple, I'm yours.
Since the beginning of my long and curious stare, I suppose I always knew you'd be the one to change my perspective.
Your fingers on my chin, you lifted my face towards the light and the rest is history.
The one time I've adored looking back; history.
Ourstory.

Waiting Room

Nothing has ever been so beautiful, in my life, before. You've removed all of the stormy clouds, replacing them with sunshine and rainbows. I always knew the wait would be worth it, dear. And from the moment I saw you, I knew you, yourself were worth it. You're all kinds of magical, you are. These are only the mindless rambles spilling from my hand while I wait. But every word is true. Only moments ago I got off the phone with you. Your voice makes my heart smile, not to mention my lips reaction. I can't help but overflow from the fullness in my heart of raw emotion you give me. The words have yet been said, but nonetheless, mine are yours.

a little broken

help

i'm trying so hard

striving 

to be good at this

all i want is to feel the way everyone else seems to

or fakes

like i do

either way, i want it

the real version

i don't want to be insecure, anymore

i don't want to always second guess myself

i want to be confident

and comfortable

in myself

in me

who i am

not in who i could be

or who i wish i was

just me

but its so much easier said than done

there's always the voice in my head

the one telling me i'm not good enough

i'm not pretty enough, i'm not smart enough

i'm not worth the fight

i constantly find myself wishing the white voice within me spoke louder

the angelic voice that says i'm perfect

i'm worth it

i'm capable

i'm beautiful, smart and plenty good for anything

i'm me and thats a blessing

i know its all true

i always have

but its easy to forget when you're me, i guess

i wish doubt left me

i could abandon fear

i wish i was confident as i pretend to be

because deep down i'm scared and i'm easily shaken and shattered

i guess this is me asking for help

your help

with you, this is the closest i've come to really being happy

well, i've always been happy

but happy in that i'm comfortable in my own pale, imperfect skin

somehow you speak to my mind and fill me with compliments

in your eyes i'm good enough

i'm the girl i'm longing to see
the girl in the mirror i can never focus on

you're helping me find that its reality

i admire that in you

among everything else

i wish i was brave enough

putting my pride aside

to ask you to help me

to open up to you completely and tell you i need help

i need help

i'm struggling and i'm a little broken

i want your touch, your hug and your smile

your perfect, flawless words

your strength in me that takes me bright places

your heart

i know who i am and i love her

but sometimes i lose sight of why

i need help getting back on my feet and keeping my chin up

i need help

your help

That Girl

I wish I was that girl
The one who said everything right
The smooth talker
The girl every girl wishes they were more like
I try so hard to break outside of this shell
But I always find myself trapped
Every part of me wants to be new
But something, one small part, holds me back
Meanwhile you stay
When everyone else ran and told their rumors
You've remained constant
The one real thing I can count on
You're seeing the potential, too
And you're patiently waiting
Waiting with me
While I fight this strange inner battle
Please don't give up on me, dear
Its coming soon
I'll be that girl
The girl I was always meant to be
Not anyone else
Just a better version of myself
You'll love her
I'll be proud of her
She's on her way

10th Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

every time

When I'm with you, I am happy. I like to be by your side.

 Every time I have the chance to speak to you, I wonder if you see the butterflies as they fly.

 There's something 'bout your magical eyes, your crooked smile and your strong arms. 

Your will to serve, your friendly voice, your listening ear, your genuine concern for who I am, my well being. 

I'm someone special in your presence, every time I'm there.

Your arms are where I find myself wishing I were.

Every day I long for the deep, beautiful conversations we lose ourselves in, each time we have one another.

You make me smile.

The passenger seat of your car...

Its too easy to recall how it feels sitting there watching you, so confident and nonchalant. 

I feel my heart wish for those bright lights.

I hear my breath as it leaves me because you, who you are, takes my breath away every time.

You make my heart beat out of control.

You make my smile emerge, no hope of concealing it.

Your touch makes me spin.

Your hugs make me believe in this shining moment.

Your voice gives me chills.

Your eyes melt my soul.

You, you make me fall more and more each day...

Every time.

cliche

Eye contact
Its never felt the way it does when I'm lost in your blue eyes.
There's something about the daydream I fall into
Its perfect. Home-like. Perfect.
I love what I have become. I love what we've become.
Everything I once thought I'd never get...is mine. Somehow.
Luck like this is just once in a lifetime.
I've finally caught it in my little fingers and I'm not letting go.
I keep trying
To figure out the perfect words to write to perfectly say this.
How I feel because of you in my world.
But nothing ever does this fairytale justice, you see.
This is only another attempt I may not even publish.
You just fill my brain with words I need to get out.
My stomach with butterflies I never want to set free.
My heart with the highest of hopes I actually believe in.
Everything is perfect, these days. Thanks to you.
I'll see you in the morning.